Am I on your shitlist?
Huh. Well, I decided to take a look at your Tumblr blog and, I’ve gotta’ say, it looks pretty suspicious. Untitled, no content, almost like a term paper one of you assholes would turn in… Hm. Since there’s nothing to see, I didn’t notice any pornography or other indecent content.
It’s a front.
You’re probably using your blog to send all kinds of “private” (a.k.a. perverted) messages and thinking Mr. Morooka will be none the wiser. Well, think again!
I’m on to you. And you’re officially on my watch list, subject to transferal to my shit list at a moment’s notice.
Well, yipee-skippin’-doo. It’s summertime again, which means tons of students will be off on summer break. The last thing you dumb-asses need is more time away from your education. You retain little enough as it is. On top of that, I’m sure you’re already making plans to use the time partying and making drunken indiscretions at your “pal’s” houses.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to get a break from your underwhelming presences (shitty papers included, of course.) But, frankly, I spend most of my “break” working anyway, and so should you. I think it’s a damn injustice that you kids, of all people, should get however-many weeks or months off from your studies. And, let’s face it: most of you haven’t got much of life anyhow. How else are you gonna’ spend all that time if not up to no good?
I don’t know who came up with this grand tradition of students getting time off from school, but it’s a stupid tradition, and I have every intention of petitioning to have it abolished.
At least we can all thank our lucky stars for summer classes, which is what all of you losers should be enrolling in A.S.A.P. To those of you already taking summer courses, or to those of you who attend school “year-around,” may your classes be plentiful and without breaks—‘cause, believe me, you jokers sure don’t need ‘em. And, if I had my way, none of you would get any (nor would you “get any” of the stuff that I’m sure went through your minds when I typed “get any” either. Perverts.)
Enjoy your damn summer while you can, Jerks.
Awright, awright, so I decided to try out this “following” thing. Before you get all excited and start spouting off to your friends about how Mr. Morooka’s gone over to the dark side, you should know that my involvement in this place is what they call a “necessary evil.” The sooner I figure out how this damn technology works, the sooner I figure how you perverts are using it to spread pornography and “hook-up” with each other.
I’ve gotta’ say, this “dashboard” feature could really come in handy. If I can have all your indecent posts pooled together on one convenient page, I won’t have to expend nearly as much energy hunting you assholes down. That’s more time I can spend grading the crappy papers you students plagiarized off the internet. Whoopee.
After just two days on this website, I can already see it’s a good thing I came here. You jerks are pretty twisted. I can’t say I’m shocked or anything; but, I can assign a shitload of work to those of you in my philosophy class. In the meantime, I’ll do what I can to introduce some decency to this cesspool you people have created.
“Idle hands are the devil’s tools.” -proverb
“YEAH I’M FOLLOWING YOU MOTHERFUCKER! NOW WHAT SON!!!” Probally not going to do shit to me.
“Well, it’s good to see you’ve made the right decision, punkass. Now maybe you’ll learn some manners.”
Eh? Well, it looks like I got some —er— followers? Or whatever you call ‘em these days. It’s like you kids are begging for correction. You know what we use to call followers back in my day? Toadies. They’re folks who can’t make up their own damn minds, so they follow somebody else, hoping for guidance. Before you know it, they’re runnin’ with the wrong crowd, and then it’s all a slick slope into depravity from there on out. Well, Followers, you can thank your lucky stars that, for once, you’ve picked the right person to guide you. To show my appreciation, I’ve decided to impart you with some wisdom. Aren’t you honored?
“At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.”
Now. Can anyone tell me which philosopher this quote is attributed to? Yeah, I’m sure you’re all reaching for those damn phones of yours so you can “Google it.” Peh. You kids should try cracking open your damn textbooks once in a while… .
Technology keeps moving so damn fast. As if I didn’t have my work cut out for me with Lifejournal and MyPlace, now I’ve got this “Tumblr” place to deal with. Well, one thing’s for damn sure: I’ve got my eye on all of you, and if you think you can get away with foolin’ around on here like a bunch of baboons, you’ve got another thing comin’!
Consider this place patrolled. If I catch you being indecent, you’re on my shitlist. Effective immediately.